hearty (kas2umi) wrote,

[5/5] Hide and seek

Title: Hide and seek
Pairing: Yunjae
Rating: pg/nc-17
Genre: angst, romance, mpreg!warning

Summary: You can run, but you can't hide.

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five + epilogue

"Is she asleep?" Jaejoong asked as he saw his ex-husband coming into the kitchen. The diner had ended in silence, apart from the cheerful stories their daughter had told throughout the whole evening trying to lift up the weird atmosphere. Yunho and Jaejoong hadn't spoken a word ever since the black-haired male had greeted him nervously few hours ago. Nor did either of them knew what to talk about. To think that at the end of 6 years long silence there would be words to be spoken.

Yunho nodded, his hands nervously brushing against black sweatpants. "Yes, she's asleep. I didn't have to read her a bedtime story," he chuckled lightly. The situation was so awkward as they both stood barely few meters away from each other.

Turning his back to Yunho, Jaejoong rinsed the plates and dried them up with a towel. The clicking of the ceramics broke Yunho away from his thoughts and he coughed slightly. "Uhm, why did you pick her up? I probably didn't realize that it's your time to be with her -"

Jaejoong cut him off. "No, no it's not. I mean not yet. I just-" he turned around and faced Yunho. His body was almost trembling from nervousness. "I wanted to see her and- and I wanted to talk to you."

With his lips forming a small 'o' Yunho sat down at the kitchen table. Jaejoong had wanted to talk to him. "You could have just called. You didn't have to bother picking her up and coming all the way-"

"We both remember how did things end after the last time we had tried talking over the phone."

They stared at each other in the silence and Jaejoong could see the way Yunho's look was changing with each passing minute.

"And who was to blame for that?" Yunho's tone was as cold as ice. "Correct me if I am wrong, but I wasn't the one that left a note on this same table  and left without an explanation."

Jaejoong stepped forward and was about to speak but Yunho beat him to it. "But who knows I have gotten old, my memory is getting worse each day. After all it was six years ago, Jaejoong."

"I want to talk abut what had happened Yunho," Jaejoong sat across the other man and placed his palms against his thighs, rubbing nervously.

"Now Jaejoong? After so many years? After you have ruined those little good thing is my life I have ever had?"

Jaejoong was silent. After all what could he say? Yunho had a point. But the lack of communication was one of the things that had led to their divorce in the past, and he couldn't allow it to cause any more issues.

"Yes Yunho. Now. After so much time we need to talk." He flinched as Yunho slammed his hand against the table.

"Didn't you ever think that maybe you should have done this earlier?! That you should have talked to me that day before you have decided to ruin everything?!"

"You don't understand!" He raised his voice. "I couldn't just-"

Standing up Yunho moved towards Jaejoong. "I don't understand?" He gritted his teeth. "Am I really the one who doesn't understand?" All that anger was slowly seeping its way inside. "Because you have made it pretty clear that all I had ever been good at was providing you with money and a nice goodnight fuck."

Jaejoong closed his eyes at Yunho's words, the shame of the lies he had spoken as an excuse years ago slowly coming in. "I am sorry, okay! I had to say that, I- there was no other way you would have let me go but to hurt you in that way and I am sorry!" Tears pooled in the corners of his eyes and he covered his face with his palms. "I know that I have made a mistake, I know that I should have spoken to you before,"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU?" Yunho shouted at him. "Why wasn't I the first person you ran to with the news that you were expecting a baby, that you were pregnant with my child?! Why Jaejoong?" His eyes were also getting wet, the overwhelming emotions taking control of his body.

"I WAS SCARED!" Jaejoong shouted back at him with teary eyes. "I was scared that the things that had happened to you would happen to our child! I was scared because you were slowly turning into your father and you know right well how was your childhood with that man. For God's sake you had no fucking childhood!!" Before Yunho could speak Jaejoong continued.

"Look where did your father's life get you. You saw people getting killed and you weren't any older than our daughter is now! You saw your own mother dying from the hands of your father's enemies and what did that man do?" He wiped his tears. "He encouraged you to become like him." Blinking his eyes he tried to stop the tears from falling again. "And I was there to heal it. I was the one who had to wake you up from nightmares, I was the one who you talked to about your past. I- " He locked gazes with Yunho. "I was the one who knew just how much did you suffer, through just how much pain you have gone through Yunho."

Standing up he moved towards his ex-husband. "And knowing all that do you seriously think I would have allowed my child to grow up like that?" His tears wouldn't stop falling.

Yunho finally understood. "But did it ever occur to you that I was not my father? That I was me, Jaejoong, your husband and the father of the child you were bearing!" Yunho couldn't help but shout. "That I would have never let anything bad happen to any of you, that I would have given my life to protect you two."

Yunho was right. Jaejoong knew just how right he was. If only he had thought that way six years ago.

"You didn't trust in me. You didn't trust in what we were, what we had." Yunho's eyes were filled with pain as he spoke. He had lost years of life with the man he had never stopped loving because Jaejoong didn't trust him enough. "You didn't love me."

"And you did? You loved me Yunho?" Jaejoong laughed sarcastically. "Loved me enough to order someone to kill me and then took my child away from me?"

And it were those words that had Yunho gripping Jaejoong's arms and locking their eyes. "I have never stopped loving you. Not even a single day of the past six years. And it was that love that had driven me mad, it were your betrayal and your lies that had me boiling in anger each night I would go to sleep into an empty and cold bed." Jaejoong winced at the pain in his arms. "The rumors of you sleeping around and laughing behind my back."

 "And you believed them? You believed that I was giving myself to someone else? Who lacks trust now, Yunho?"

"Don't you try and put the blame on me Jaejoong. I know that taking her away from you was wrong but after all those lies you had spoken and after everything that had happened it was the only way to make you suffer as much as I did."

Staring at Jaejoong's teary face, the way the man's lips trembled and thinking about everything that had happened - something snapped in Yunho and grabbing the first thing his arm could reach he threw it against the wall and watched as it shattered into pieces.

Jaejoong's body froze and he couldn't utter a word.

"Fuck!" Yunho released the hold on Jaejoong's arms and gripped his own hair. "I can't believe that we had lost years of our life over the fact that we didn't talk to each other enough."

Stepping back, Jaejoong stared at the place where the shattered glass laid scattered on the kitchen floor.

"That was the vase we had bought together in China for the last anniversary we've spent together."

Yunho simply stared at the black-haired male his ears not registering the words Jaejoong had spoken. "W-What?"

"I-It cost us a freaking fortune and you just- puf, it's gone."

Seeing the look of a lost puppy on Jaejoong's face and the way he had stared at the shattered glass Yunho finally lost it and doubled in laughter.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me Jaejoong," his cheekbones had started to hurt from how stretched his lips were. Jaejoong faced him and puffed his cheeks.

"It was expensive okay!" Turning around he walked towards the sink and poured himself a big glass of water. Calming himself down a bit he poured one for Yunho and placed it on the table in front of the man. Yunho was already sitting down as Jaejoong approached him and sat in the chair on his left side. Silence followed for few minutes before either of them dared to speak again.

"So you weren't just after my money?" Yunho asked and Jaejoong shook his head no.

"You-" Jaejoong began. "Y-You weren't really going to kill me, right?" he paused. "Right... Yunho?"

"I don't remember." He said and winced as Jaejoong punched him in the arm. "Hey! What was that for?!"

"You don't remember? You don't remember Jung Yunho I swear I will-" "Okay okay I wasn't. There. Are you happy now?"

Looking at Yunho from the corner of his eye Jaejoong clenched his jaw. "We will talk about that more."

"And you weren't with me just because- because I was good in bed?" Yunho continued and his ex-husband shook his head. "No, I- that was just one of the benefits." He blushed and ended up drinking that glass of water he had brought for Yunho.

"I just want you to know that those rumors-" Jaejoong faced the older male. "Those rumors were never true. I don't know who or why did someone spread such things but I- there was never anyone else but you."

"I guess," Yunho sighed out, "We've made enough mistakes to last us for life."

Looking at Yunho's almond eyes Jaejoong felt his own burning with more unshed tears. How he regretted doing what he did back then.

"Yunho, I'm sor-"

"Daddyy!!" The scream of their daughter reverberated throughout the house and he found himself running after Yunho towards the room she was sleeping in. His heart was almost jumping out of his chest because he didn't know what had happened but the look on Yunho's face told him that there was nothing to worry about.

As they entered the small room Yunho walked toward their daughter's bed and softly laid himself next to her. "What's wrong baby? Did those bad monsters come tonight again? " He cradled her head against his chest and she hugged him tight nodding her head. Jaejoong was still at the doorstep, his eyes slowly taking in the sight of Yunho with their daughter."Don't worry baby, daddy beat those bad monsters. They won't come back ever again."

Yunho softly kissed her forehead and her lips stretched into a smile as she saw her father at the door. "Mama!" he pushed against Yunho's chest and Yunho laughed. "Move daddy I need to make space for mama," she pouted after Yunho didn't budge an inch. But her laughter echoed in the small room as Jaejoong pulled Yunho off of the small bed and quickly laid himself next to his daughter.

"You can sleep on the other side," Jaejoong spoke as he hid his face in their daughter's hair and she laughed even harder as she caressed he father's hair. " Yes daddy you sleep on this side," she pointed at the unoccupied side of the small bed. Her small lips were stretched into the happiest smile Yunho had ever seen. She had Jaejoong's smile.

There was something in his chest that had Yunho thinking just how right this was as he laid next to their daughter and she pressed her small back against Yunho's chest. And it hurt knowing atht the past years could have been like this. Jaejoong inched towards her as she clutched his shirt, slowly falling asleep again, and he cradled her head against his chest.

Their eyes locked and fingers brushed against each others atop the soft sheets as they hugged their daughter. Yunho's forefinger traced Jaejoong's wrist and came to a stop as he felt the man's pulse beating against the pad of his finger.

Jaejoong's heart skipped a beat and Yunho's lips stretched into a smile.

"I promise, this time everything will be alright." He spoke slowly. "All I need is you to trust me."

"I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am," Jaejoong's eyes were wet again as he gripped Yunho's hand for the first time in six years. That touch only was enough to bring back all the memories they once made together, all the love that had once burned through their bodies. It was enough to remind them what they had lost.

"I know," Yunho gripped his hand back. "It will be alright Jaejoong. Now sleep because I have a felling this devil will wake us up at the crack of dawn, knowing who she got that from."

"What are you talking about I never used to wake you up that early. Maybe, well sometimes around 5 or so but-" "Jaejoong, I never said it was you she got that from."

Jaejoong gaped at him. "Well at least, when she grows up, we will know who she got her breasts from."

"WHAT? You just did-"

"What?" Jaejoong mouthed. "Now we are even."

"Please," Yunho sighed out. "No more getting back at each other. Ever."

The smile on Jaejoong's face was bitter. "I agree. Never again."

sumi's note: Sumi is not good at writing any longer. I know many of you had problems coping with this fic but the most important is that you understood this fic. I will not ask of you to think the same as the characters because seeing their situation that is not possible. Some will agree with Jae some with Yunho. Some with neither of them. That is simply because everyone would have done things in a different way. I just showed one. And I hope you can learn from this that - people make mistakes. No matter how silly, stupid and innocent looking they might be - they can ruin your life. Trust, understanding, communication and love are the key to every relationship. And when one pillar trembles, the tower crashes down. And believe it or not, some people learn it the hard way like Yunho and Jaejoong in this fic. And just so you guys know,  this was originally meant to have a sad ending. Really sad and edgy.
Tags: fic: hide and seek, length: chaptered, pairing: yunho/jaejoong
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